Help! I'm in love with a lesbian!
by Niall Stylinson
Summary: Finn couldn't pinpoint an exact time and date he fell in love with Santana. It was a line of events that made him fall for her, his feelings growing a little more each day. Canon Finntana, with mentions of Brittana and Finchel.


Finn couldn't pinpoint an exact time and date he fell in love with Santana. It was a line of events that made him fall for her, his feelings growing a little more each day. But he had Rachel and Santana hated him. So the fact that he was too much of a chicken shit to actually tell her he loved didn't really matter. He had other excuses. Of course, his biggest excuse of all came their senior year, when he realized she was a lesbian.

Finn wasn't homophobic or anything, but he was having a hard time dealing with the fact that the girl he loved was gay. Because no matter what he did or what happened, they'd never be together.

—-

It'd been two weeks since Finn and Santana made up after he outed her (which he'll forever feel like shit about). He was really happy that they were finally friends. They hung out at his place and they went out places and sometimes, Finn liked to imagine that she wasn't gay, wasn't dating Brittany, and that they had a shot of being something more than just friends. But then her phone would ring, a huge grin would spread on her face and she'd answer the phone saying "Hi, baby!" That's when Finn's little fantasy ended.

Could he really be upset that she had a girlfriend though? He had a girl, too. He had Rachel. Beautiful, talented, perfect Rachel… she really was perfect, but Finn didn't feel for her what he felt for Santana. He never had and he knew he never would. But, he couldn't have the girl he wanted. So he knew he had no chance but to settle.

—-

"Pass the breadsticks," Santana said, her mouth still full of pasta.

Finn grinned at her unladylike manners and passed her the basket of breadsticks, which she eagerly grabbed, immediately picking one up and biting off an end.

"You really love Breadstix don't you, San?" he raised an eyebrow, twirling his own spaghetti around on his fork.

"Fuck yeah I do, Hudson," she said, pasta and breadstick still in her mouth. Finn shook his head at her. How could he still find her the cutest person on Earth? "It's the greatest place on the planet. I think tomorrow in glee club, I'm going to sing a love song dedicated to it."

"Aw, and how would Brittany feel about that?" He laughed, but just mentioning Santana's girlfriend hurt.

"She understands that my love for this restaurant runs too deep to be tamed," she said with a shrug, reaching over for another breadstick. After taking a bite, she spoke again. "So, speaking of love songs, what's with you and hobbi- I mean, Berry, er, Rachel."

Ever since Finn and Santana became friends, she'd been trying to be a little nicer to Rachel. She still slipped up, but Finn couldn't really find himself caring. The waitress came with the check and Finn took it (he refused to let Santana pay, even though they didn't go on actual dates), as Santana continued to speak.

"Have you gotten it in yet? Or is she still a prude?" she asked, then added in a mumble, "No offense."

He just shrugged as he pulled out his wallet. He didn't like talking about Rachel, especially not when he was with Santana. "Um, yeah," he said. He cleared his throat. "We… yeah."

"Whoa," she laughed. "Please tell me you used a condom because no way in hell does this world need another Rachel Berry running around."

Finn just shook his head at her, not bothering to cover up his own laugh. He knew he should be defending his girlfriend. He knew it was the right thing to do. That didn't stop him from laughing along with Santana though.

"I'm guessing you two are doing good then?" she asked.

Finn's grin fell from his face and shrugged. "I mean, I guess… I just… I don't know. Things aren't that great, and even if we do somehow make it to the end of the year together, we're going different ways with our lives. She's going to New York, I'll be here still. We both know we're going to break up eventually."

"Wow," Santana sighed. "Well, I've always thought you could do better. But, shit, why'd you fuck her if you know you'd be dumping her soon? You're not that much of an asshole are you?"

Because I thought I was just going to settle with her and be with her forever, because the girl I really want can't be with me. He shrugged. "Feelings just changed, I guess."

She nodded, accepting this answer.

"Come on," he said, nodding toward the door. "Let's get out of here."

—-

Finn took her back to his place. They went up to his room to hang out, planning to watch a movie or something. Santana took a seat on his bed, stretching her long legs out in front of her. Finn had to fight really hard not to stare at them. But he was losing that fight.

"Hey, Hudson," Santana spoke up, causing Finn's heart to start racing a million times faster, thinking he'd been caught staring at her. "Can we watch the new Scream? I heard Lucy Hale from Pretty Little Liars is in it. The show's shit, but the hot girls make up for it."

"Oh, yeah, sure," he said, still trying to recover from his momentary scare. He turned on the TV and fumbled around, looking for the Scream 4 DVD case in his stack of movies. He finally found out, put it into the DVD player, and then grabbed the remote before moving towards the bed, where Santana scooted over a little for him to sit.

"I'm so pissed I haven't seen this yet. I've wanted to see it forever, but it scares Britt, so I didn't make her watch it with me. I didn't want to watch it alone though," she said, her arm brushing Finn's as she reached up to free her hair from it's ponytail. He tried to ignore the shiver that was sent up his spine at the simple touch.

"You sure she won't be jealous that you're watching it with me?" Finn asked, a small grin playing on his lips.

"Definitely not," she said. "She knows she has nothing to worry about with us."

That comment shouldn't have hurt Finn as much as it did. He already knew nothing would happen with them, unfortunately.

"Hey, Santana, I have to talk to you about something," he blurted out without thinking. No, no, stop now. Just shut up while you still can.

She put up a finger. "Shh, look, it's Lucy," she said before letting out a snort at something the actress on screen was saying.

"San-"

"Hudson, could you shut u-" he cut her off by shouting out the one thing he couldn't get off of his mind.

"Santana, I love you."

She just sighed, and he could tell she was annoyed. "I know, you told me this already, and I told you I loved you, too after you kept pestering me to say it back."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I mean… I'm in love with you."

Slowly, she turned her head to look away from him and back to the TV. She was silent for what seemed like hours to Finn, when in actuality it was only about a minute that she didn't say anything.

"What?" she finally got out.

"I'm in love with you." It was still hard to say the second time.

"I'm gay, Finn."

"Trust me, you don't have to remind me. I know you're gay. I know you love Britt, I know you're with her. I know we have no chance of ever, ever being together, but…" he paused, letting out a soft sigh and shaking his head. "I just couldn't keep it in."

More silence from Santana. "I love you, Finn. I do. But-"

He put a hand up to stop her. "I know, I know. You're not in love with me."

"I'm really sorry, Finn." He just nodded, not saying anything then or as she slowly slid off of the bed. "I think I should go. I'll talk to you later."

He nodded again, not looking at her as she left. He knew that more than likely, she wouldn't be calling him later, or texting him, or even meeting up to hang out in the morning or between classes. He knew he'd just fucked up whatever relationship he had with Santana.

—-

Since it was a Saturday night when he confessed his love to her, Finn didn't see Santana the next day, but he did see her on Monday. He spotted her in the hallway before third period, her hand in Brittany's, standing at their lockers, giggling and occasionally leaning in to each other, just to be closer. He loved seeing her smile and be happy, but there'd always be that part of him that wished he could be the one to make her so happy. That was Brittany's role though, and he knew she would be good to Santana.

He didn't realize he'd actually been staring right at them until Santana turned and met his eyes. He quickly looked away and at the wall. Nice cover. But he looked back at them out of the corner of his eye just in time to see them peck each other on the lips, and then head their seperate ways. Brittany went towards the staircase, and Santana was making her way over to Finn.

He looked back at the wall. He hadn't even picked a wall with posters on it, instead he pretended to be interested in the color of the paint. Luckily, he didn't have much time to mentally scold himself for being so dumb because a soft voice had spoken to him.

"Hey," she said.

"Oh, hey," he greeted her, pretending to be surprised by her approach, as if he hadn't seen her walk over to him. "'Sup?"

She shrugged. "Not much, about to go to Spanish. Es una clase cojo. Cómo estás?" she asked.

"Um," he blinked down at her. "I… don't know what you just said to me."

She laughed at him, and he was glad to see her smile. He hoped she wasn't pissed or weirded out about Saturday. "How are you?" she asked, repeating the last part of the words she'd spoken in Spanish.

"Oh, um, I'm alright. Pretty good."

"Well, it's good to see you are. I heard Rachel and Kurt talking this morning, she was a mess… you two broke up, huh?"

"Yeah. I met up with her yesterday and told her it just wasn't going to work with us," he said.

He was relieved to be done with Rachel. Even though he knew he'd never find a girl as amazing as Santana, he knew he'd find one eventually that would at least come close and help him to forget her, and that girl wasn't Rachel.

"That sucks, I guess," she said. "Well, for her."

"I'm pretty happy that we're broken up," he said. "We weren't right for each other, not like you and Britt are."

This made Santana smile. "Thanks, Finn," she said. "So, about Saturday…"

"Forget it," he said, forcing on a smile. "I meant what I said, but I didn't expect anything to come from it. I just didn't want to hide it anymore."

"Okay." She nodded, looking down at the floor for a moment before back up at him. "Breadstix. Tomorrow night. My treat?"

This time his smile was real. Maybe he hadn't fucked things up. Santana and him would be friends, just friends. She was giving him the most she could, and he knew he couldn't ask for anything more. He was just happy they were okay.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world.


End file.
